Monday, June 07, 2004

al Qaeda chief backs Bush/Cheney in statement (humor)


According to Reuters (article here) al Qaeda this morning issued a statement expressing support for the government of Ariel Sharon in Israel and backing the Bush/Cheney 2004 ticket.

"We are in favor of all the Western war monger candidates --- especially Hitler, Stalin, and Atilla the Hun --- but we like Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Ariel Sharon as well" a voice, believed to be that of bin Laden, said. Expressing its famously long view of history, most of the Western "candidates" endorsed by the terrorist organization appeared to be dead, and thus ineligible for office.

"War is good for our business interests and helps our recruitment as well" the voice continued. "Electing war profiteers with no respect for international law or democratic processes and no sense of proportion is the best way to the destroy the West by turning it into a dysfunctional, corrupt, fascist dictatorship," bin Laden explained. "This is why we are backing Bush/Cheney in 2004."

The megalomaniac terrorist leader continued by expressing his usual anal retentive, monomaniaical interest in destroying "Western and American" airliners. His voice statement was accompanied by video clips of high-ranking al Queda members sporting "Bush Cheney 2004" campaign buttons and bumper stickers on their combat fatigues and Kalisnikovs.

The CIA is analyzing the videotape for authenticity, and has tentatively concluded that there is a "100%" the voice endorsing "Bush/Cheney 2004" is that of bin Laden.

End Humor

Well, that's not quite the statement that was released, but that's the one they should have released.

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