Thursday, July 29, 2004

"Major terrorist strike" in Southern California yesterday

It is being widely reported (by Fox News and others) that, according to the FBI, "terrorists" have struck in Irvine, California, a quick drive from where I write this. Gerber baby food jars were found to be contaminated with the deadly posion ricin, similar to that made by European terrorists. Well, actually, not exactly. The parents apparently found a note at the bottom of the jars, saying the jars had ricin in them and that their baby should receive immediate medical attention. After extensive medical tests on tiny babies that had consumed several such contaminated jars, the doctors were unable to discern any noticeable effect on the tiny babies. Laboratory tests then found trace elements of ricin in the jars, but it later turned out the jars had only been contaminated by castor beans, the precursor to ricin that naturally contains tiny (and completely safe) trace levels of ricin. The note mentioned a grudge against a local Irvine police officer, leading Irvine police to a "person of interest," police code meaning that the Irvine police think they already know who did this. Another police case closed on the mean streets of Suburban LA. [Dragnet theme sound effect here].

Wow. It sounds like this case has a tiny mangitude of the Tylenol poisioning case that plagued the Midwest some years ago. Now that Irvine police have taken care of the problem, we have to thank the FBI for their involvement in protecting us from dangerous, ricin-armed terrorists like this.

Fox News carried an FBI statement earlier today warning California and New Mexico that terrorists might seek to disrupt the Presidential election in these states.

President Bush is not doing well in these two states. That might explain why terrorists might want to disrupt the election in these two states.

And why Bush's FBI (and Fox News) decided to warn us stubborn Californians about terrorists when of late we seem worried about other things (like Bush's performance).

It may well be true. (America does indeed have many enemies these days. Unlike four years ago. When we had fewer enemies. Seemingly, a lot fewer enemies.)

Don't get me wrong. I like the FBI (especially four years ago, when I liked them

But we get 'um big earthquakes around here. They might interupt the Presidential Election as well. California earthquakes tend to be a little more dangerous than the ricin baby food "terrorist attack" yesterday. Even the small "uns" cause potholes to form in the streets.

Thanks for the tip, though.